- I will not sleep through my education
- I will not spank others
- I am not a dentist
- I will not bribe Principal Skinner
- Spitwads are not free speech
- I will finish what I start
- Nobody likes sunburn slappers
- "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
- High explosives and school don't mix
- Hamsters cannot fly
- All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
- I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
- I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
- My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
- I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
- I am not deliciously saucy
- Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
- I will not send lard through the mail
- I will not use abbrev.
- Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
- Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
- Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
- There are plenty of businesses like show business
- I will not dissect things unless instructed
- I will not hang donuts on my person
- No one wants to hear my armpits
- I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
- I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
- I will not strut around like I own the place
- Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
- The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
- I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
- I am not a lean mean spitting machine
More Bart Simpson Chalk Board Intros -->
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