- This punishment is not boring and meaningless
- I will not eat things for money
- I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
- I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
- I will not sell school property
- The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
- I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
- My name is not Dr. Death
- I will not encourage others to fly
- I will not defame New Orleans
- I will not fake my way through life
- I will not prescribe medication
- Tar is not a plaything
- I will not bury the new kid
- I will not Xerox my butt
- I will not teach others to fly
- It's potato, not potatoe
- I will not bring sheep to class
- I will not trade pants with others
- A burp is not an answer
- The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
- I am not a 32 year old woman
- Teacher is not a leper
- I will not do that thing with my tongue
- Coffee is not for kids
- I will not drive the principal's car
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