- "What
do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."
- "Sometimes
the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making
someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people
feel good about themselves!"
- "Ah,
good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never
die."
- "I
want to share something with you: The three little sentences
that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that
when I got here."
- "Quiet
you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to
watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."
- "Trying
is the first step towards failure."
- "America's
health care system is second only to Japan... Canada,
Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you
can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"
- "What's
the point of going out, we're just going to end up back
here anyway?"
- "Don't
eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens
who abducted Simpson family)
- "I
like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals
flaming."
- "Don't
you ever, EVER talk that way about television."
- "Your
mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even
though they say it's okay in the bible."
-
"No matter how good you are at something, there's
always about a million people better than you."
-
"Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside
me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community
service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair
is the answer."
-
"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how
I'm going to Hell?"
- "When
it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking
monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you
give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."
More Simpsons Quotes -->
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